Revelations
by thechosen1
Summary: Post “Chosen” finale. Prophetic dreams Steer Buffy to LA, what she finds there will change her life forever…again. Spike’s back from the dead, but why’s Angel keeping it from Buffy? BS some BA. Chapter 16 up.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I own nothing…not Buffy…not Spike…Nothing…but you already knew that I'm sure.

Notes- The series finale has torn me apart. It was said once that only things which never cease to hurt stay in the memory (I think it was Nietzsche). If this is true…then this one will be with me always.

**********

A full year has gone by since Buffy defeated the first. A year ago today, since Sunnydale was destroyed. A long, long year since the world was changed forever, a world without Spike in it.

Buffy and Dawn traveled at first, with Giles, Willow, and Xander by their side. They took home girls who were once scared, confused adolescents but were now slayers. 

The first three months were especially difficult for Buffy. A night didn't go by that she didn't dream of him. 

She was overcome with emotion by his selfless act. He had finally proven himself as the champion that she knew he was. Not that she needed proof- but for himself, she knew that he had been redeemed. Spike had been liberated from the ties that held him, freed from his sins, and forgiven for his past. She only hoped that he was in the heaven that she had experienced during her death. That the calm that once surrounded and embraced her was now with him. 

Every night for three months he came to her in her dreams. Every night he professed a love that would surpass his extinction. She knew it was strange, but it was the only thing that got her through those first few months at all. 

The traveling, the moving- it was all exhausting. Week after week of taking home lost daughters and explaining what had happened to confused parents…bringers, vampires, demons…it was all too much for them to handle. 

Some were kind; some were disdainful- most had no choice but to believe after a sufficient amount of proof was provided. 

Buffy and her companions provided with money and food along the way, but without a home- without any stable place to call her own- Buffy was growing weary rather quickly. 

Her dreams, they were the only source of peace she had. It had gotten to the point where she longed for sleep- couldn't wait to close her eyes so that she would have that serenity at last.

It was hard on Dawn too. She needed to get back to school and have some semblance of a normal life. Not able to see herself anywhere else Buffy decided to begin searching for a home in California. Giles agreed to join her for a short time until she was settled in and Xander too said he was ready to start a new life, deciding that wherever Buffy went to- he would stay near.

After much deliberation Willow approached Buffy to tell her that she would not follow her to California. She had too many things to learn about her newly invoked powers and would travel back to the coven for advice and training. Buffy knew that she was right…that Willow needed to find the balance that she needed and said her goodbye, knowing that they would reunite again some day not too far off.

**********

On her dreams continued. Day after day…each one different and beautiful. Until the last one:

__

Buffy was wandering through a forest, lost in the maze of trees and flowers. She wasn't scared though, she knew he was watching her…knew he would show himself. 

She called his name out in a whisper, "Spike? Are you there?" 

"Always love, always here…watching"

"Can I see you? I need to see you"

Slowly appearing from behind a tree not far away he smiled towards her, glowing. He was radiant…more beautiful than he had ever been. "I'm here, pet. Can you feel me?" he asked reaching out to her and touching her hand. 

She breathed a sigh of relief at his touch, "I feel you Spike…I need you to know something Spike." She was close to tears as she spoke, "I meant it…when I said I loved you…I meant it. I was so stupid not to say it sooner…not to tell you…but I love you."

"You mean you did love me don't you love…nothing left to love now, is there?"  


"That's not true…I love you…now…always…I'll never forget…."

Suddenly the beautiful forest began to turn gray, as clouds covered the sky and strong winds began to blow. Everything was disappearing…and Spike was gone.

It was then that Buffy awoke in a panic. Her heartbeat pounding, and tears streaming from her face.

He never came to her again…not like that. She continued to dream of him- relive memories and moments from her past with him. Things she said, things they'd done together- but he never came to her in the same way after that. 

**********

After finally finding a small home in a down called Serendipity-not far ironically from where Sunnydale had been- Buffy decided that it was time to move on with her life. She need to give Dawn a proper home, and it was time to start living that "normal" life she had always dreamed of.

Now, only a month in her new home, and a year to the day of her last great battle- her Slayer visions once again began. Something was happening- something bad…and it was drawing her to Los Angeles. She knew she needed to go.

*********************

TBC if interest warrants it. This chapter was pretty much explainer to set up the story. 


	2. Road Trip

Chapter 2- Road trip

(Los Angels, Offices of Wolfram & Hart)

"Good morning Mr. Angel," the blond secretary greeted as he started into his office without even so much as a head nod. "I…I have some news for you!" she shouted, him finally turning to acknowledge her.

"What is it?" he asked without turning around, broody as usual.

"You asked us to inform you of any changes or incidents of interest during the re-building of Sunnydale- no matter how insignificant?"

"I did…so what happened?" He answered, finally stopping and turning to face her.

It seems that some of the workers were frightened several months ago by the apparition of a man seemingly out of nowhere. They decided not to report the incident because he then disappeared and they thought that they might have been seeing things.

Angel considered this news for a moment before responding, "Okay…so what made them report it now?"  


"It seems that some of the men involved saw him again…in the rubble. He's been coming and going just watching them work. Whenever he seems to be noticed he disappears again. It's probably just a homeless man shacking out, they believe it may be someone who once lived in Sunnydale not yet over the loss of his home, but we thought you might be interested."

"I am…thank you. Can you try to get a description of him?"

"Right away Mr. Angel…do you think it's important?"

"Probably not…but I'd like to know anyway."

"Anything else?" he asked as she followed him inside his office. The blond looked through her notes a moment before answering.

He was at his desk looking through his mail when she finally spoke, "oh..yes..of course. It seems that Ms. Summers has finally settled down. We've been tracking her movement all year as you asked but she just closed a deal on a small house in the township of Serendipity. It's a small community, very rural. The house is under her name and a one Mr. Xander Harris. It looks like she plans to stay there."

"He looked up a moment from what he was doing and them quickly looked back down at his papers… "thank you"…he responded. 

**********

(Buffy's House)

"I'm coming with you!" Dawn screamed defiantly as Buffy was in the middle of packing a small bag of necessities for her trip.

"You are not coming with me…you just started school and you have a lot of catching up to do. I will check in every day to see how you're doing."

"It's not fair…what if something happens while you're gone, besides you don't even know how long you will be, or if there's even anything going on to begin with- how do you know it was a slayer dream anyway…you haven't had any in so long- and…you haven't even told me what you dreamt about…"  


"Calm down Dawn, nothing is going to happen…besides…Xander will be here. The dream itself isn't important anyway…I just know I need to go."

"This is crazy…you know this don't you…it's crazy! Why can't Xander and me come?"

"Dawn, you know Xander just started up his construction business and is starting to get work all over town. He can't leave now, we need the income. We can't live on what we have left for much longer- especially after buying the house…will you please get my toothbrush and toothpaste out of the bathroom for me?"  


"Fine" Dawn rolled her eyes before dragging herself from the room with a defeated look on her face.

Buffy sighed heavily before sitting on the bed next to her nearly full packed bag. Luckily she had packed as much clothing as possible on the school bus that day, knowing that going back home might not be an option. She still didn't have much in the way of furniture in the new house, but it was quickly becoming home…and now she was leaving.

She couldn't help but think that Dawn might be just a little bit right this time…was she crazy? What had been so different about those last dreams anyway? It would make sense to start thinking about him more now, again. She wasn't moving around anymore…she could focus on her emotions…maybe that's what kept her running in the first place.

Dawn came back in the room with her toiletries and Buffy placed them in the side zipper of her duffel bag. "A few days," she told her, "it won't be more than a few days, I promise."

"When are you leaving?" Dawn asked, finally giving up on the idea that she might tag along.

"Tomorrow morning, first thing."

*********

It was later that evening when Giles got to the house. He had found a small magic shop not too far outside of town recently and was going to find if there was any traveling news about mystic or supernatural activity going on in Los Angeles of late. The shopkeeper's response had been, "not more than usual." At that he decided to bring home some dinner for everyone, being that he had already exhausted his small list of acquired contacts in the area.

Xander and Buffy were already in the living room sitting on the used sofas that he had been able to pick up for a reasonable price from a nearby shop owner. 

"Oh goody…more fast food!" Xander shouted giving a disgusted look at the KFC bags. "I swear Buffy, if you don't learn how to cook soon I'm going to gain another 30 pounds in the next 4 weeks."

Rolling her eyes Buffy took the bags from Giles and placed them on the small coffee table that Xander had build for them. "Dawn!" she yelled towards the upper level of the house, "dinner's here."

Dawn came running down looking slightly disappointed at the choice of take out, "you do know that they don't even use real chicken in that, don't you Giles?"

"Yes well, when the lot of you come up with something better than you can take care of it yourselves," he stated.

"Don't be ungrateful guys…thank you Giles…it was great for you to think of this, I hadn't even realized I was hungry until I saw you come in with the bags."

They started eating as Buffy attempted to relay her dream to the group.

It was strange… "I was in Sunnydale, old Sunnydale- before it got destroyed- I was on patrol when I noticed someone following me not far behind. I couldn't see who it was, but I sensed it. It was really strange…suddenly this vamp jumped out of no-where and attacked me. I fought it off, but just as I was about to stake him it spoke to me…he said, "Things are changing- all around. Angel knows, but he won't tell you…Anyway…that's when I realized I needed to head out there and figure out what IS going on."

"You do realize Buffy that this might have been just an average run of the mill dream?" Giles asked.

"It was too real, Giles. Plus, I've had it for a few days now. Something's telling me not to ignore it."

"Do you plan to approach Angel?" Giles asked, but before she could answer Xander interjected, "yeah, talk to him- cause he's always upfront and honest when he's being sneaky."

Rolling her eyes Buffy responded, "No…if I can avoid him seeing me I will. I just want to look around and see if I can find anything out."

**********

(Angel's office- Wolfram & Hart)

"I have that description of the man that's been sneaking around the Sunnydale rebuild Mr. Angel."

Angel grabbed the sheet of paper from the young secretary without a word, he quickly read through it before slamming it down on his desk, "it can't be," he said out loud, but really only to himself.

"Grace!" He called out to the blond. "Arrange a car for tomorrow night, sunset…I'm going out there for myself to check things out- and get Wesley on the line for me."

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TBC

Thanks for the reviews and comments. I will continue with this story as long as there seems to be an interest in it, I do hope you like it though because I have a feeling it can be really good. Thanks!

-Erica


	3. The Journey

Chapter 3- The Journey

(Serendipity bus station- early afternoon)

To Buffy's dismay there were no buses from Serendipity to LA early in the morning so they had spent much of the morning at the depot. They had lunch there and talked some before hearing the call over the intercom system for the 2:00 bus leaving for Los Angeles.

Buffy hugged Dawn goodbye and walked over to Xander. "Thanks for taking care of her," she smiled at him before moving in to hug him. "It means a lot." 

Xander removed the sunglasses he was wearing, revealing a solitaire black patch. He offered her his large customary grin, "come on Buffster, you sound like your saying goodbye forever. You'll be back in a couple of days."

"I know…it's just, you know…fist time in a while I leave her. What I'm saying is…I'm glad you stood around." Xander nodded his head with a small smile on his face before wrapping his arm around Dawn and walking away with her. "Let's go Dawnie…with Buffy gone," he whispered, although knowing Buffy could hear, "I'm thinking…house party?"  


"Xander!" Buffy yelled towards him. "Just kidding!" He answered before walking back to the car.

Giles, who had been standing close by watching, finally approached Buffy himself. "Please…don't hesitate to call if you need me to come. I'll be there in a hurry…you are sure you don't want me to come along?" 

"Thanks Giles…I need to do this alone though."

"Very well," he replied as he reached down to hug the closest thing in his life that had come close to being his child. He thought back for a moment to all that she had been through recently, amazed at how well she handled herself-yet knowing that inside she was hurting with a pain that he couldn't heal. "take care then…and call often."

She let go of him before picking her bags up off the floor and handing them to the driver to store under the bus, and then got on the bus without another word. As she got to her seat she saw him stand there a moment before he walked away to join Xander and Dawn.

As the bus pulled out of the station Buffy felt a strange feeling permeating about her. She'd be seeing Angel soon, for the first time since…that night. Even though she didn't plan to approach him, or speak to him…it gave her a strange sense of uneasiness. With this, she closed her eyes and allowed herself some time to rest, knowing that whatever was going on would not be easy.

**********

(Wolfram & Heart, Angel's office- Mid day)

__

Ring. Angel's intercom sounded, making him look up from the stack of papers he was investigating.

"What is it grace?" He spoke into the box- somewhat annoyed at being interrupted. 

"Mr. Wesley is here for you, should I send him in sir?"

"Yes please."

He looked back at the pile before him. Listings, gathered on a daily basis of any out of ordinary happenings in Los Angeles. He had a team of 50 people designated to mystical occurrences alone. With Cordelia incapacitated he no longer had the benefit of her visions, but with his attainment of Wolfram & Heart he was able to work on a much larger scale with a considerable array of resources.

Wesley entered the office looking at the stack of papers before speaking, "anything of interest?"

"A few things. I have teams looking into it. I wanted to speak to you about something else."

Wesley sat down at one of the plush chairs beside Angel's desk. "What is it?"

"What we spoke about yesterday…I'd like to leave earlier than planned."

"What is it you're so anxious about Angel? I hardly think that it's anything of great significance if it wasn't mentioned before yesterday. Do you think this has something to do with the hell mouth?"

"No…I don't know. According to all sources the hell mouth remains dormant, I just need to see for myself. Are you in or not?"

"Of course I am…I just don't understand why you won't talk to Fred or Dunn about this."

"Because they wouldn't understand…they never knew Sunnydale like we did. If there is something… we'll sense it."

"You believe there IS something in the wrong then?"

"I don't know…I just…I need to go, and I need you with me."

"Just what is it you're expecting to find out there Angel?"

**********

It was nearly sunset as he awakened in the rubble. He could hear horn sound, signaling for the day crew to get ready to ride off on the work shuttle buses on the far side of the giant crater that once was Sunnydale. They were far enough away from him that we could rest peacefully without fear of being found.

They were working piece-by-piece filling land, building foundations. They weren't near him enough yet that he would have to move again. He'd been here now for nearly 9 months according to the calendar he had stolen from one of the workers trailers. 

He got around easy enough; slept during the day in a makeshift sort of hut he had built in the rubble. He stole food and water from the trailers in the evening while the night crew was working. He was able to bath there regularly as well.

Why did he stay there? He didn't know. He never approached any of the men because he knew that he didn't belong there instinctively from the beginning. Truth was he didn't know how he got there, or even who he was…but he had a feeling that the time for answers would be coming soon. He'd been having the dreams again…of her. 

She was beautiful and she came to him at night bringing flowers and poetry that rang like music to his ears. He knew her, and yet…he didn't. It really didn't matter though…she wasn't real. 

**********

They had been laying in a field of grass surrounded by flowers, his sparkling blue eyes glistening in the sun as he reached down to kiss her. 

Buffy awakened with a start as the Bus pulled in to the station. She looked at her watch nearly 6:00. She had slept the whole way down…dreaming of him. 

"Must have been one hell of a dream," The lady sitting next to her said as Buffy turned to her confused. "Huh?" Buffy asked. "You've had a grin on your face for the last 2 hours. Buffy quickly sat up, trying to adjust her sweater, feeling disheveled.

"Oh…I'm sorry hun. I didn't mean to embarrass you. It was a long trip…I finished my book about an hour ago and was looking over your shoulder out the window."

"It's okay…I was just a little…disoriented- forgot where I was I guess."

"It happens. Well…here we are. It was nice talking to you anyway." The lady got up and walked up on the line to get off the bus. 

Buffy stood until she was the last person there. Before getting off the bus. The driver handed her bags to her and she smiled appreciatively. She looked around her a minute…thinking of how long it had been since she'd actually set foot in LA. "Here goes nothing," she said to herself as she headed through the terminal.

TBC

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Thank you all for the fabulous reviews. I know these chapters have been sort of teasers but I promise much action in the near future. Please let me know what you think because It's the only thing that keeps me going.

-Erica


	4. On The Trail

Chapter 4- On the trail 

Buffy's first stop in LA was the Ramada inn. She checked in to her modest room and set down her bags. She was feeling hungry but really more tired from the trip, which was strange to her being that she had slept the whole way in. 

She wanted to check out Wolfram and Heart but knew that the timing was not great. Her plan was to do a little reconnaissance later in the evening- check out the entries and exits- then go back in the morning and see if she could spy on Angel getting in. 

She figured her best bet was to rest a little first. A strange feeling had overcome her since the morning and she felt like she needed sleep desperately, as though it was the only thing that could get her through this journey. She was also hoping that by sleeping she would feel him again…Spike. As though by dreaming of him made it that he was really by her side.

She took off her sneakers and lay on the bed, her eyes closed almost instantly.

**********

He was calling her- In the forest where she last left him, he was 

calling for her. "I'm here," she answered, as he turned to greet her throwing his arms around her in desperation. 

"You left me," he said, sounding disappointed, "One moment you were here, and the next you were gone. It was like you vanished into thin air."

"I'm sorry Spike, I woke up…from my dream. You do know that this is a dream, don't you? It is, isn't it? Only a dream?"

"It is pet, just a dream…but you're here now." He put his hand up to touch her face, letting his fingers linger on her cheek- feeling her softness. Her eyes closed in contentment from the contact. "I awoke as well. Only minutes after you left me. But we're here now."

"Yes….here." Buffy answered, her heartbeat slowing to a relaxed pace. He leaned his body town so that their lips were almost touching. 

"I've missed you love," he said, as he closed the space between them, kissing her tenderly. 

Buffy still had her eyes closed as their mouths intertwined. She moved her hands up so that she could run her fingers through his short messy curls. 

She opened her eyes so that she could see him…how much she's missed seeing his face- he'd never understand. Just having him around…knowing he was there…had always been enough. Even if she hadn't acted on her feelings, even if she never knew how to express it, it was enough for her to have him near. She always believed that he would know somehow, that he would understand. 

When she finally told him she loved him, he said no, told her that she didn't. Buffy understood that now, she didn't then- she never understood, but it was clear now. It wasn't that he didn't believe her…he just knew that he'd be leaving, knew that if he told her she didn't that she might believe him. 

"I've missed you too Spike."

He kissed her once more, holding her as close to his body as he could- breathing her scent, feeling her silkiness beneath his fingertips when suddenly he turned his head. 

"What is it?" she asked, trying to see what it was he saw.

"I have to go now, pet. I'll see you again."

Before she knew it he was gone, and Buffy was left standing alone in the grass.

**********

Spike awoke abruptly from his dream. He could hear someone not too far in the distance, a car motor. He knew that something was wrong. The workers hadn't ever come out this far. As long as he had been here, they'd never gone past the area they were working in until it was time to move to the next site. The rebuilding had been consistent since his arrival. 

He moved quickly and quietly, looking for better cover and a place to see what was going on without being noticed.

**********

Wesley and Angel were driving around the rubble in a jeep that they'd borrowed from the city builders. After achieving the proper permit the state council of California allowed him to check out the site under the idea that he might be interested in buying property in Sunnydale as well as possibly donating money toward the rebuild. As CEO of Wolfram & Hart they had no reason to doubt his intentions.]

Angel was distraught. He couldn't even picture the city as it had once been. He looked all around him trying to make out pieces of buildings…looking for something recognizable in the heap, but found nothing. 

Wesley was troubled as well. He sensed nothing wrong, yet had a gut instinct telling him that something was way off here. He kept his feelings to himself however, after looking at Angel's face- now was not the time to discuss something that he wasn't even certain of.

Wesley saw it before Angel did. As they were turning the bend, getting ready to head back he saw what seemed to be some kind of make shift shelter. "Over there Angel," he called jumping out of the jeep before it had even come to a full stop. He pulled his small flashlight out of his pocket as he moved back a wall that was too perfectly placed to be there accidentally. "Someone's been living here Angel."

"Spike." Angel stated with some contempt, looking around him for any traces of the bleached blond vamp.

"Are you sure? Is that even possible?"

"It is…I can smell him. Besides, I came back…why can't he? He seems to keep doing a lot of things that I've done first anyway…what with the whole soul thing and everything. Copy-vamp…couldn't just stay dead."

Wesley looked over at Angel sensing the dismay in tone. "Yes well…we can't be certain it's him, vampire senses aside."

"It's him…I know it."  


"Shall we look for him then?"

"No…he's gonna look for us." Angel pulled out a business card from his wallet showing it to Wesley before putting it on the makeshift bed spike had created and holding it down with some kind of canned food product.

**********

He watched them leave. Waiting a long time to be sure they were gone before going back to his "home" to see what it was they left behind. He picked up a small white card that said… "Angel Investigations at Wolfram & Hart, CEO," the address was listed as well. 

These people had known him; they called him Spike as the girl had in his dream. He would have to go to them…he needed to find out who he was and why he was here. 

**********

After a late dinner in a small diner Buffy was walking around the parking lot at Wolfram & Hart, trying to figure which way Angel might come through in the morning. She figured he wouldn't be entering the front door, what with all the sunlight and such. She was getting ready to head back out when she heard the limo pull into the garage.

She quickly hid behind one of the large support pillars as the car pulled up in front of the door she had just surveyed. Angel walked out of the car followed by Wesley. "Do you really think he will come here Angel?" Wesley asked as he motioned for the guard to let him in.

"He will. If I know him like I think I know him…he will."

Buffy watched them enter the building before leaving, wondering all the while who they were talking about. "They're up to something," she said aloud as she continued up the street.

TBC

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Once again, thank you for the great reviews. I'm really excited that people (other than me) are enjoying this story. Please continue to let me know what you think, it really motivates me to write faster- I swear!

-Erica


	5. Alive

Chapter 5- Alive

  
(The Ramada Inn- Los Angeles, California)

It's evening; the hotel is quiet and virtually empty. Behind the front desk is a short, sun tanned man in his early 30's- Larry- trying to get reception on the tiny little TV/Radio that is sitting just below customer view. He hits it once again on the side when he hears a sound coming from around the corner.

Larry rolls his eyes before giving up on the TV and hitting the off switch. He gets up and walks around the desk to see where the noise is coming from. "Maria, is that you?" he asks, but there is no one there. Further down the hall Maria, the evening cleaning lady, is laying on the floor of the employee lounge face down- two small marks on her neck- but Larry hasn't seen her yet.

Larry walks down the hall to where the lounge door is slightly ajar. His hand is on the knob but he doesn't turn it. Something is telling him that there is much wrong with the current situation- this door is never left open! He gets ready to pull the knob out when he is grabbed from behind and tossed across the hall.

Larry is lying on his back, his head reeling from being banged against the wall. He looks up at the pointy-toothed demon that is standing above him grinning madly. The vampire moves in to feed…

Suddenly he is pulled off of Larry. Buffy grabs him and tosses him aside as if he weighed nothing more than a leaf. She looks at him a moment nodding her head in disgust before throwing some well-aimed punches at his face. 

He stumbles a moment, confused at the strength that is being emitted from this small young human girl. He quickly finds his balance and gets back to his feet, ready to pounce on the girl once more. He moves forward but is knocked to the ground as Buffy makes him tumble with a low sweep. 

"What's up lumpy…long time no slay" Buffy retorts, reaching into her sleeve and pulling out a stake.

"What?" The vampire asks, obviously unclear of what's about to happen.

"Me…with the slayage…it's been a while…." She runs the stake through the demons heart before he even knows what hit him. As his body turns to dust around her she finishes, "it feels kind of… good."

"You okay?" She calls over to Larry, who is still whimpering in the corner. "I am now…I…I'm alive." The door to the lounge is now wide open and he can see Maria lying on the floor… "Oh God…Maria." As he runs in to look at his now dead friend Buffy wipes the left over dust off of her and walks to the staircase leading to her room.

**********

(Buffy's hotel room)

Buffy walked into her room and slid the jacket she was wearing off of her shoulders tossing over the arm of one of the two chairs in the room. As she walked toward the closet pulling her blouse over her head she noticed the red light of her phone blinking in indication of a message being left. 

She quickly changed into her pajamas before picking up the phone and dialing in to hear her message.

"Hi Buffy, it's me…Dawn…just wanted to say goodnight. I hope everything is going okay out there, I'll talk to you tomorrow." In the background Buffy could hear Xander screaming "Goodnight Buffy!"

Buffy smiled a little before placing the phone back on the cradle. She tried to settle in to bed but was having a hard time falling asleep, must have been that nap she'd taken before. What was it that Faith had said about slaying making you hungry and horney?

For the first time in a long while Buffy realized that she was really lonely. Sure she had Xander and Giles around, and of course Dawn- but she was lacking big time in the romance and companionship area. 

Spike, although there wasn't really any physical romance toward the end, had been her companion for a long time. She just figured he would always be around in someway. Now Buffy was beginning to really let it sink in that he wasn't coming back.

Buffy tried to push those thoughts to the side. She was trying to focus on the current "mission." Tomorrow morning she would try to find out as much as she could. For right now, she was finally growing sleepy.

Buffy sighed heavily before her eyes finally closed and allowed sleep to prevail.

**********

(Same evening- Wolfram & Heart, Angel's office)

"You can't be serious Angel? What makes you think that it's even possible?"

"Look Wesley…I just know. I want this done my way, no one else finds out until I'm sure. Can I trust you in this?"

"Of course. It will be done then. We'll send a car out tomorrow. One question though?"  
  
"Yeah?" Angel asked, looking up at Wesley.

"What makes you think he will come?"

"I don't know Wesley…but I know that he will. We'll take care of the details in the morning. For now let's call it a night"

**********

Spike lay on his makeshift bed unable to settle down. He got up and went over to dig a hole in the ground right beside the bed. He pulled out the medallion that he wore the day he had awakened, and shook the excess dirt off of it. 

He didn't know what it meant, but he was protective of it and found that it brought him comfort. It was the only thing he had that was truly his and he knew that the truth about his existence lie in its' mystery.

He put the gaudy thing around his neck and lie back in his bed, holding the strange stone in his hand as he did so. He closed his eyes and his breathing began to slow into long relaxed breaths. He smiled to himself, holding on tight to the medallion as he felt his pulse slow to an unhurried relaxed pace.

Finally at peace, Spike fell asleep.

TBC

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Thank you so much for the great reviews, they make me happy, happy!

I've got lots of little surprises planned if you stick with the story, please continue to review and comment- it means the world to me!

-Erica


	6. The light

Chapter 6- The light 

(The Ramada Inn- Buffy's room)

Buffy lay in her bed, one arm affectionately thrown around a hotel room pillow. She squeezed the pillow tight to her chest as she slept, with a small smile on her face.

********** 

__

(Dreaming)

It was night, and they were on the beach. Spike was lying on his back, one arm behind his head, and the other arm around his girl. Her head was snuggled up against his chest, and her arm was wrapped tightly around his torso. 

They hadn't spoken for quite some time; they just rested there looking up at the stars as the sound of the ocean's waves crashing the shore filled their ears. 

Spike moved down and placed a kiss on Buffy's head before speaking. "Was it always this good, love?"

Buffy smiled a bit before answering, "No…but it is now, and that's all that matters, isn't it?"

Spike thought about that for a moment and said no more. They just held each other for as long as they could, knowing that the moment could not last.

Buffy reached up to him and kissed him gently, her lips lingering on his face a while before pulling back. She sighed heavily, as if forlorn- yet she was content to have this moment.

Once again, Spike glanced down towards Buffy, this time the look on his face was more serious. "Soon, love," he said. "Soon."

**********

And Buffy awoke with sunlight beaming on her face. 

She'd left the curtains open the previous night and the room was filled with bright illumination, the whole room was gleaming…It was…

"Effulgent." She said out loud, chuckling at herself for the use of such a fancy word. "Not bad for a college drop out!" 

She swung her legs over the bed and smiled as she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She came back out to check the time and saw that it was still early, only 8:30. She called the house to say good morning to everyone before taking a shower and leaving to have breakfast. There was a long day ahead of her.

**********

(_Sunnydale_)

Spike opened his eyes and looked at the mess of rubble that surrounded him. It was time. He knew he had to go, and that it had to be today. He didn't know for sure how he was going to get there but it was time.

He briskly walked down to the work site and sneaked into one of the trailers while the morning crew began their daily routine. He showered quickly and grabbed the big green duffle bag marked with "Andy" embroidered on the side of it. He didn't know Andy, but knew enough. They were more or less the same size, Spike had taken clothes from Andy before and replaced the clean set with whatever he was wearing to lessen suspicion. 

Spike also knew Andy was one of the bosses. He had his own private trailer set up by the site. Spike had seen him in the trailer a couple of times during his search for food and necessities. Today Andy would have to go without clean clothes and food. Spike didn't care. In fact, the thought of Andy searching his trailer high and low for the bag he "just knew" he had brought with him made Spike chuckle deep in his throat. 

He grabbed a couple of the wrapped sandwiches from the refrigerator without bothering to see what they were and quickly headed back to his "home". Changing into a clean pair of jeans and a black t-shirt he looked through the rest of the bag to see what was in it. 

In the bag were a couple of white t-shirts, another black shirt, and a couple of pairs of socks. Also a pair of black jeans, which he placed back in, leaving the white shirts behind. He may not have known who he was or where he came from, but he knew that white was not his color.

He reached into his hiding spot for the pendant, but before placing it in his pocket looked down at the medallion in his hand with curiosity, rubbing his finger over the cold stone. He loved the feeling he had when holding it and knew that it was the key in finding out who he really was. He had to know who he was. He had to know so he could find out who _she_ was.

He smiled slightly, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Soon, love…yes, but soon what?"

It was then that he heard a car approaching outside. He walked out from the rubble that had been his home, no longer afraid of being discovered. He was leaving- he was going to find out who he was…who she was. And he knew that the car was coming for him.

The car shut off and the man behind the wheel stepped softly out of the jeep and greeted him with some trepidation. 

Wesley was a little bit nervous. He didn't know what to expect of this Spike character, he was surprised as hell that it was even him- and then to see him walking about in daylight…he was surprised indeed, and not at all unsure that this wouldn't please Angel one bit. 

"Hello Spike"

"Do you know me?" Spike asked, throwing the duffel bag over his shoulder as he walked over to the jeep and threw it in back.

"I…yes…uh…no…sort of," Wesley stammered. He took a breath. "My name is Wesley, do you remember how you came to be here?"

"That…is a long story, and I venture we have quite a trip to wherever this is," he said, pulling the business card Angel had left behind out of his pocket and showing it to Wesley before putting it back in his back pocket. "That is why you're here, isn't it? To take me to this fellow…Angel is it? Is that really his name?"

"Yes, well…I guess we both have a lot to talk about then, we didn't expect you to have…amnesia…Spike"

"Yeah well…I didn't expect there was anyone that expected…me."

"We'd be best to get moving," Spike said, and he got into the passenger seat of the jeep before adding, "while it's still daylight."

"You really don't remember," Wesley mumbled, before getting into the jeep himself.

TBC

**********

Very special thanks to Nicole, my first ever beta. I'm very excited. You rock! Can't wait until you're done with your first story!

Sorry this chapter has been so long in the waiting, but I had a little trouble with the rating on one of my stories…it was a little too smutty for the likes of this particular website and my means of punishment was being unable to upload new chappies for days and days.

Thanks for all of the feedback; it means the world to me. I am really enjoying writing this story and I hope that you all enjoy reading it. Thanks!  
-Erica


	7. Who Am I?

Chapter 7- Who Am I?

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(On the road)

After leaving the jeep that Spike was picked up in he was taken to an awaiting limo. The ride was long, and arduous. Luckily the Limousine was rather spacious. 

Him and Wesley shared an uncomfortable silence for the first little while. Spike asked for the tele to be turned on. The reception was bad, but there was a soap on, "Passions" and Spike found it mildly amusing. He got tired of the lousy signal however, and finally turned it off.

The driver offered some movies he had available. Although they were old titles Spike didn't remember seeing any of them. Finally settling on "Interview with a Vampire" he watched as the movie started.

He watched as the movie played, but he bored easily. He kept glancing over to Wesley who stared absently out the window, wondering if he should speak or not.

"So," he turned to Wesley, a mild look of annoyance on his face, "What can you tell me about myself?"

Wesley was taken off guard. He wasn't prepared to answer such questions and didn't know how much to say. He was hoping to avoid as much conversation as possible, but knew that he'd have to say something.

He could, of course, call Angel from his cell phone- but he wasn't ready to address Spike's current state of actually being alive-in the breathing sense- as it was.

"Well," Wesley started, thinking carefully as he spoke, "how much do you remember?"

"Remember? Nothing before I woke up naked in a pile of rubble that looked like world war II hit it. Funny though, I seem to remember world war II."

"Ha…yes…funny." Wesley responded dryly. 

Spike turned back to the film for a few moments, rather enjoying the carnage. He hadn't had any form of entertainment where he was. He was getting into the film when Wesley finally spoke. 

"You're name is William, you've been known as Spike for some time now, cause of…something to do with railroad spikes…ring any bells?"

"William…no. The Spike part is familiar though…I've had some…dreams." Spike drifted off, thinking of his dream girl. The closeness they'd shared. He was sure that this was someone he knew.

Wesley nodded his head, not sure how to continue. "You were….different before…there was an accident, well…more of a disaster really. That wreckage you've been living in was once called Sunnydale, it was a small town. There were very few survivors."

"Guess I was lucky then. What about…family…my family. Did I have any there, in Sunnydale? Is there someone I should be mourning over?"  


"No…not family. You…you've been around…in the states that is… for some time." Wesley was stumbling with his words. He really didn't want to continue. He really didn't like this whole situation. 

Spike was more confused than ever now. This conversation wasn't really helping him much. He knew there was a lot that this Wesley fellow might have to offer in the way of information, but that he wasn't going to share any of it. At least not now anyway. 

They rode the rest of the way in silence. There was so much Spike still didn't know, but he figured the trick would be in asking the right questions. He didn't really trust this whole situation, or this Wesley fellow. He seemed nice enough, but the fact that he was hiding information bothered him. 

Angel was the key. He realized that now. He'd find out soon enough though. 

He tried to watch the rest of the movie but his mind kept turning back to his dreams.

All the rest of the way his mind wandered to the pretty blond. He wondered if he should mention something about her. No…this he would keep to himself. At least until he knew more.

**********

(Los Angeles- Wolfram and Heart indoor parking garage)

Buffy had been waiting around for hours. She hadn't seen Angel, or anything out of the ordinary. She watched a few people go into and out of the building, no-one she recognized. 

She was getting bored actually. She started to figuring she'd have to take a different approach to this whole thing. 

She really didn't want to confront Angel, but now she was thinking she might have to. Buffy was about to head out when she saw a black Limousine enter the facility. She hid behind one of the support pillars, curiously watching as it slowed to a stop.

The driver came around to open the door. She watched as Wesley walked out and looked around nervously. He looked anxious. Another man came out of the car. He did not turn around, and she couldn't see his face from where she was standing. 

He sure didn't look like a lawyer from where she stood though. His jeans were old and worn, and the black t-shirt he wore was faded pretty badly. All she could see of him was a wave of dark messy curls atop his head. From her hiding spot his form reminded her of…she couldn't even think it. 

He was carrying something as well, a duffle bag. She focused on it and saw that written on the bag was the name Andy, then he disappeared with Wesley, through the doors and into the building.

Now she was more curious then ever. Who the hell was Andy? And what would Angel want with him. Something was definitely up though. That look on Wesley's face was undeniable. 

Buffy stared back at the empty space for a moment before walking out of the garage. She needed to talk to Giles about this, a rapid change of plan was in order.

TBC


	8. The Encounter

Chapter 8- The Encounter

**********

__

(Wolfram & Hart- afternoon)

As Spike walked through the long corridor towards what he assumed was this Angel bloke's office, his mind was racing with a million thoughts. 

The first was his girl. Perhaps she wasn't his exactly, but something told him that the girl in his dreams belonged to him in some basic, elemental way. She was special. She would not be discussed. No matter what this 'Angel' person had to say, she was his, and something told him to keep the specifics about his dreams to himself. Maybe she didn't even exist, this girl of his- with her long golden waves, flowing about her like a Venus. Still-just to be safe, she'd be his secret for now.

Another prospect that had his mind working overload, was the fact that this Angel fellow might actually know who he was, although from his little Wesley experience he didn't think the information was going to come easy. 

There was another thing too. He was hungry like hell. He still had a couple of sandwiches in his bag but thought he should save them in case of an emergency. Never know what these lawyer types were up to.

He tried to stay focused, thinking of what questions he should ask, how to approach certain subject matters, and wondering what in the world this guy wanted with him. Still, his mind was turning to these things and making it hard for him to remain clear headed. He was anxious about this meeting, and this place. He didn't like it, not one bit. 

He turned a corner and walked past a smiley faced secretary before walking through the doors to the office.

**********

Buffy was walking over to grab a bus when a flyer hanging in front of the office building bulletin board caught her attention. She ripped it off, glancing at it quickly before stuffing it in her back pocket.

She got back to her hotel room as quickly as possible and dialed the phone right away.

"Please Giles, you have to find her for me. I have a feeling that she's the only one who can help." She stretched the phone cord out, trying to reach the closet while speaking to Giles. Finally giving up she picked the phone off of the night stand and put it on the floor pulling it as close to her destination as possible while Giles was speaking fervently to her ear. She rolled her eyes in frustration before cutting him short, as she looked through the bag on the floor of the closet that she hadn't fully unpacked. 

"Yes…I know that you're trying…and no…I don't want to talk to you about it just yet…it's just…I'm not sure what it is yet and if something is wiggy, or if Angelus is back…she's really the only one who can help me, I'm sorry Giles- I don't want to leave you out of this I just don't want to jump the gun until I know what I'm dealing with."

She shuffled through her items, finally finding what she was searching for. And pulling the black slinky dress from it's place in her bag. "Always pack a black dress' she thought to herself, smiling that she took the advice that her mother had given her so many years ago. 

"I know I've been here longer than I said, it just didn't pan out the way I thought…please, just watch over Dawn for me. I need to do this."

"Tonight? Looks light I might have a party to go to." She said, pulling the flyer out of her pocket, she was distracted for a moment when she looked at the words printed in bold black lettering. 

"Thanks…just keep trying." She hung up the phone and looked back at the flyer in her hands…. 

****

Wolfram & Hart's first ever- soon to be annual-employee cocktail party! 

Come to mix with your fellow co-workers and mingle with your new senior management staff. 

Dress to Impress, black tie optional.

**********

__

(Angel's office)

"Hello Spike," Angel said, without turning to look at him. He was sitting in his chair looking out of his very special window. He really enjoyed that window, facing into the sunlight without the risk of burning into a pile of dust, enjoying the warmth.

He was reveling in this moment. He'd figure out what spike was up to and…

"Yeah…Hi…Angel is it?" Spike asked, not waiting for an invite before walking into the office and throwing his bag on the floor. He eyed his seating options and decided on the long leather couch- looked comfy enough, he hadn't been on anything so cushy looking since…well he didn't remember ever being on anything so plush.

He through himself down on the sofa, a silent sigh escaping his throat from the sheer comfort. Legs spread apart, and elbows on his knees Spike got nice and settled before speaking again.

"Look, not that I'm not grateful for your hospitality, sending a car to get me and all that- it's just…I know you called me here for a reason, so lets get past the bleeding bullshit that Wesley here has been feeding me for the last few hours- no offense Wes- and get to the truth, who am I and what the hell do you want with me?," He shot an appreciative glance down to the object of his comfort, surprised that any piece of furniture could feel so good- After sleeping on rocks for so damn long this was heaven, "Posh office by the way."

At that Angel turned and looked at him for the first time, noting a difference in his appearance, other than just the dark hair. That he'd seen before, Spike hadn't started bleaching his hair until the late 1900's, no something else was wrong. He shot a look up to Wesley, "What? Don't tell me he doesn't remember!"

"It would appear so, Angel."

He looked again towards Spike, "How do I know this isn't one of your games Spike, that you aren't trying to trick me? How'd you come back?"

"What the hell is he talking about?" Spike asked, looking towards Wesley for an answer.

Wesley stumbled with his words for a moment. "I should have called you Angel. I didn't know how to explain though…it seems that Spike here…he doesn't know who he was or how he got to Sunnydale."

The grimace on Angel's face was growing wider. "No…I know Spike. He's up to no good, I can sense it…"

"There's something else Angel," Wesley interrupted. "It seems…well it appears that…he's alive you see."

Spike jumped from his seat out of frustration, "Of course I'm alive you stupid ponce…I'm standin' right here! What in the bleeding hell is going on!"

**********

TBC

Again…thank you for the lovely reviews. If you like this story please let me know, I swear it motivates me to write faster! 


	9. Losing Patience

Chapter 9- Losing patience

  
**********  
  
_(Angel's office- continued)_

Angel leapt out of his chair and took several long strides to where Spike was sitting on the couch. He leaned over putting his hands on Spike's shoulders, pushing him back with the force.

"What are you saying to me Wesley?" he asked, without ever taking his eyes off of Spike's. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, Angel felt something he should have sensed sooner. The thing that was wrong with Spike that he couldn't put his finger on. Now he had his finger on it, literally. 

It was a small thing actually, something a person would hardly notice. He let his finger linger there a moment longer, not able to process what it was he was feeling. A small beat really, nothing spectacular- not even racing, still it had Angel practically enthralled. He moved his finger up a little further up spike's shoulder, holding it in place in the sensitive spot where the neck meets the collarbone, not able to let go. He had a pulse. 'Spike' had a fucking pulse. What was up with that?

"Hey!" Spike yelled, pushing Angel off of him and snapping out of his engrossed state. "What's that about?" Spike asked, looking towards Wesley. He stood and walked over to him, whispering to him while glancing over to where Angel had fallen back, leaning against his desk. "I may not know who I am," he stated in a low voice, "but I know what m'not!"

Angel was furious. His vampire hearing caught that little exchange, the very thought of Spike's implication made him angry. He was about to say something when his phone buzzed.

"Yes Grace?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt Mr. Angel…but you really need to begin your preparations for this evening's event. You have to go over your speech, and…you need to change. You haven't even…"  


"Grace," he cut her off, "I'll be out in a minute."

"Take him to the hotel, make sure he's watched. We have to get ready for tonight."

"Yes…of course." Wesley responded, when Spike jumped in.

"Hold on. I still need answers, what the hell am I here for. You haven't told me anything!"

Angel raised his voice once more, "You'll find out in due time Spike. Just not now. Go with Wesley and do as you're told, if you want answers you'll get them when I'm ready to talk."  
  
Spike ran across the room and pushed Angel on the desk, forcing him on his back, and holding him down. "Bullocks! You will tell me what I need to know or else!"  
  
"Or else what?" Angel asked, suddenly aware of how strong Spike was, even without his vampire strength, just another great little discovery. "What are you going to do Spike? Anything happens to me and you'll never know. Wouldn't want that to happen, would you?"

Spike contemplated that a moment before letting Angel go. He walked over to pick his bag up off of the floor and looked towards Wesley, "Fine, but I need to be fed. I feel like I haven't eaten a decent meal in years."

Wesley shot a knowing look over to where angel was sitting on his desk, steaming with anger, before following Spike out of the office.

**********

(Buffy's Hotel Room)

Buffy took a long shower, allowing the water to wash over her. She was tired, and lonely. She hadn't been away from Dawn this long since…well…ever that she could remember, not while she was alive anyway.

She tried to formulate a plan, as the cool water eased away some of the tension that had overwhelmed her for the past few days, but she couldn't think of anything particularly clever.

She didn't even know if it was a good idea, going to this party…she wasn't sure if she should maker herself known. Everything was going so slowly though; at this rate she could be in LA a month without ever finding out anything…not that she even knew what she was looking for.

Buffy turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself. She took her hand to wipe down the mirror, which was now foggy despite the fact that the water hadn't been that hot.

She looked at herself a long while, looked at her face carefully and methodically. She hardly recognized the person who stared back at her anymore, this woman who had stepped in and taken over a life that she no longer commanded.

Once she had been The Chosen One, now she was just one of many. A young woman who had no place in the world, not quite human- yet human still. The only thing that kept her going was the fact that Dawn needed her…and soon even that wouldn't be true. Dawn was growing up so quickly…

Engrossed in her thoughts Buffy didn't even realize the tears that had begun falling from her eyes in force. Before long she was weeping openly, having opened a door that had remained closed for so long.

She walked out of the bathroom and into the cold air conditioning, hoping that the cool air would help dry her tears. She sat, wrapped in her towel for a long while and after her face was sufficiently dry, began to apply her make-up. 

"Time to put on my game face." She said aloud, as she began getting ready for the big event.

**********

"Pull over!" Spike yelled to the driver, pointing to the corner drug store.

"What is it now?" Wesley asked, becoming more than annoyed with his visitor duty. He had spent hours with him already. As it was Wesley didn't think he could ever eat another hamburger after seeing what Spike had done to the three that he'd watched him devour. He did look like someone who hadn't eaten in years.

"Need some toiletries is all mate…toothbrush, soap and the like. Spike held out his hand, waiting for Wesley to provide him with some cash. He had money on him, cash he'd been stowing away little by little from his trips to Andy's trailer, but he needed to have his rainy day supply- just in case.

"I'll go with you." Wesley nodded to the driver, instructing him to stand by as he wouldn't be very long.

Once inside spike grabbed items haphazardly, not really sure what he would need. He grabbed a toothbrush and some toothpaste, soap, shaving cream and razors. He was getting ready to walk to the register when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He was dismayed at the sight of his messy curls atop his head, and the stubble that was forming around his face. He headed to the hair isle and grabbed some super hold gel and without a second thought, threw a box of hair bleach into the basket that Wesley was carrying.

Satisfied, he walked to the front register… "Can you throw in a pack of ciggies too?" He asked the pimply kid who was behind the register. "What kind?"

"Something with Menthol," he answered, and watched as the little twerp threw a pack of Newport in the bag. Spike grabbed a lighter of the counter and tested it quickly, showing it to the kid before putting it in his pocket.

They got back in the car and Spike pulled out his pack of newly purchased fags and lit one, inhaling deeply and savoring in the mentholated flavor. 

Wesley rolled down his window and rolled his eyes. This was going to be hell. Aside from that he hadn't begun getting ready for the evening and had no idea what to do with Spike. Looking out the window it dawned on him that he only had one choice.

"Pull over again please…to the men's store," he pointed directing the driver who himself was becoming slightly irritated. "Come on Spike"

"Where now?"

"We need to find you something to wear…looks like you're going to a party tonight."

TBC

*******************

Thank you, thank you, thank you….for all the lovely reviews. I've been drowning in joy. I hope you all had a lovely holiday weekend. As always, please let me know what you think…reviews are my candy reward. Hoping to update Aftermath next, but this one's been calling me. Hope you liked!

-E


	10. May the Festivities Begin

Chapter 10- May the festivities begin

(Night Club/Catering Hall)

Buffy got into the party easily enough. She followed a small group of employees through the front door, smiling and laughing with them as they passed the bouncer. They had obviously began the party a bit early, showing up already slightly hammered.

Buffy walked through the dark corridor and then through another set of doors, one of which was slightly ajar.

She stopped above a small staircase leading down to the main hall. The place was must larger inside than it would appear to the casual passerby. It was romantically dark, lit by small electric sconces evenly lined against the walls, giving the illusion candlelight, only without any actual flames. There were small votive candles, however, at every table. 

The interior was bathed in a dreamy glow that was simply astonishing. The walls, covered in mirrors, only helped to enhance the trancelike atmosphere.

Tables were set up to seat 10 at a table, and there were hundreds of tables spanning a large area of the club. The tables were draped in red cloths, with hints of gold in the votive holders and small flower vases. The aura was a mix of goth and sex that was perfect for a romantic evening, but seemed somewhat inappropriate for a company meeting.

There were 3 bars that Buffy could see- one at the right end, one at the left, and one on the second level off to the right that looked something like a mezzanine seating area, obviously there for the big wigs. That was the only thing visible on that level, the lights above the bar illuminating a small corner. Everything else up there was dark. 

At the far end of the room was a small stage with an orchestra pit below and to the front of it, sectioned off by red ropes. The orchestra was playing slow music that seemed to be recognizable, yet Buffy couldn't figure out any of the songs. 

"Excuse me." A woman asked, nearly knocking Buffy over accidentally as she walked down the stairs. 

"I'm sorry…I was a little bit dazed….this is…it's beautiful!"

"It is, isn't it? This is where I wanted my wedding party to be, but it was just too expensive at the time…but when Mr. Angel was looking for a place I thought this would be perfect."

"Oh…you work for Ang…er…Mr. Angel?"  
  
"I'm sorry, how terribly rude of me. That's what this is about right? Meeting your fellow co-workers. I'm Grace." She reached over to shake Buffy's hand before continuing on, "Personal assistant to Mr. Angel."

"Hi, I'm Bu…Betty…I'm….new."

"Well Betty, it's very nice to meet you. Unfortunately I have to help Mr. Angel prepare for his speech right now…if I can find him that is. Maybe I'll see you later…or in the office."

"Uh, yeah…that would be great. It was nice meeting you too."

Buffy walked all the way in towards the bar on the left, wanting to get a better view of the mezzanine and the people sitting up there, without being in plain view of the stage.

She was so transfixed, trying to adjust to the darkness atop the mezzanine that she didn't notice that she was being spoken to. "I'm sorry….what?"

"I said…Can I get you something?" The bartender responded, getting a good look at the girl before him now that she turned to face him. 

"No…I'm….sorry…in a daze, I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Can I have a glass of water please.

The bartender turned and opened a fresh bottle of Evian, pouring the liquid into a large wine glass and placing it on a coaster before her.

"Trying to scope out the big shots huh?" He smiled, giving her a knowing wink. Funny thing about the whole lot of them. They throw these huge events to 'get to know' the people who work for them better, but then they always section themselves off somewhere unreachable. Never fails."  
  
"I guess so." Buffy answered looking up again. It didn't look as though there was anyone up there yet. None of the table votives where lit, and it seemed just so dark. She considered walking up there to see if everything was alright when suddenly the place erupted in applause. 

The front stage was suddenly lit up, back lighted in red tones, as all the wall lights were turned down even more, making the place so dark you could hardly see the person beside you. And there, on the stage, was Angel.

He looked good. Handsome still, broody, and looking a little uncomfortable in front of the audience. He was a little heavier then the last time she saw him, still…he looked good in his tux…well, no-one ever really looks bad in a tux, do they?

He began to speak when the microphone squealed. He waited a moment for the feed back to die out before starting again.

"Hello everyone. Thank you for joining us this evening…"

**********

__

(Serendipity)

Giles was bent over the coffee table when Xander came home from work that night, he was shuffling through some books while frantically talking into the phone.

"Yes, I understand that there are no phones…no…yes sister…I understand that you have no way…of course…" Giles through himself back on the couch, ripping his glasses from his face in a frenzied gesture. "Please, if you could just leave word…if you hear from her at all…thank you, I assure you that it is much appreciated.

"Still now luck on the Willow front?"

Giles jumped back unexpectedly, "Oh, Xander…I didn't hear you come in. Unfortunately…no. They claim to have had no contact with her in several months. We may need to go about this another way."  
  
"You thinking of messing with the magic's, cause that's not usually a good thing…not trying to be funny here Giles, but you are a little bit rusty on that front."

"Yes, well…there may be no other alternative if we can't reach her in the course of the next couple o days.

********** 

__

(Night Club/Catering Hall)

"…I know that there have been quite a few changes in the last year, changes in initiative, and in company vision, in addition to staffing, but I know that we can make Wolfram and Hart into something much greater than a law firm with a shady past. We have a chance to do something really great for humanity, and for the city of Los Angeles. 

The crowd erupted into a wave of applause that that. 

Buffy couldn't help but grin a little bit. Imagine Angel- broody, moody, I don't like to be around people-Angel, giving pep speeches. It was such a change from the man she once knew.

"At this time I would like to open up a forum for the next half hour to take any questions you may have, then dinner will be served and I would like you all to relax, and have a good time…yes, you- please state your name and your department…."  
  
Buffy allowed the voices to drift off, noticing a small flicker up on the mezzanine as two candles were lit. She could see the outlines of two figures walking over to the table overlooking the balcony and sitting at the outer edge. Then another two followed, one of them a woman- only recognizable by a bit of sequence in her gown.

Buffy strained her neck a bit, trying to get a good look at who was up there on the balcony.

**********

__

(Night Club/Catering Hall- Balcony)

"I thought you said this was a party?" Spike asked, as he sat down on the ledge looking down at the poof giving his speech down on the stage, "this looks like a bloody conference meeting."

"Spike, please…I realize that this may not be your kind of fun, but what other option did I have, both Gunn and Freddie needed to be here tonight, and I wasn't going to very well stay home watching over you. Relax, and attempt to enjoy yourself…besides, there's going to be plenty of food and liquor flowing..I'm sure you'll not object to that?"  


"Pft…you better believe it. I think I'll walk over to that bar over there and see if I can't make the night a little bit more interesting."

Spike stood abruptly and headed in the direction of the small bar, obviously intended to serve only those lucky enough to be seated at the mezzanine. Freddie looked at Wesley and offered a forced smile, she looked like she might say something when Gunn spoke up.

"Tell me why we're watching this guy? He's alive…not a vampire any more, and doesn't really seem like he can hurt anyone…unless you count being a pain in the ass. What's the deal?"  
"Charles," Freddie interjected, "Angel just wants to be sure that he's not up to something. I'm sure we'll all figure it out soon. Just try to have a good time."

At the bar Spike was chatting it up with the woman behind the counter, offering her a smirk in response to her obvious flirtation. "Scotch please, neat."

She leaned over suggestively as she placed the drink in front of him, "Can I get you anything else with that, sir?"

Spike cocked his head to the side, getting a good look down her blouse, now that she had given him such prime positioning, "I'll get back to you on that one pet, in the meantime…" He gulped down the drink, "…why don't you give me another…and make it a double this time."

TBC 

*****************************************************************

Okay, okay, okay…I took forever getting this posted…I realize that, but it totally was not my fault. I couldn't get onto ff.net all of last week! I swear! Please, tell me what you think…some reviews might motivate me to create a chance meeting of some sort in the next chapter!

-E


	11. Seeing Things

Chapter 11- Seeing things

**********

__

(Nightclub Balcony- continued)

"You don't look like the usual set of suits we get around here," the lady bartender said as she leaned down to pour Spike another drink. "The decoration alone…it's genius…so hot…all the red…sexy"

Spike looked up to her, tilting his head suggestively as a small smirk began to grow on his face. _I remember this game_ he thought, as he pulled out a cigarette from the inside pocket of his newly purchased leather blazer. Wesley tried to get him into buying a suit but finally gave in to the black slacks, black shirt, and leather jacket Spike had insisted on.

"You're not suppose to smoke in here, but being that you're one of the 'big guns' I guess it'd be okay," she said- reaching over quickly to light the cig that he'd freed from his pack. 

**********

__

(Nightclub- main floor)

The bartender was speaking to Buffy but she couldn't hear a word he was saying. She was struggling with the darkness, trying to make out the figure at the bar up on the mezzanine but was having a really hard time seeing past an arms length.

"MISS!"

"Oh…sorry…what was that?"  


The Bartender looked slightly annoyed, "I said…You better go find a seat- they're getting ready to serve dinner.

"Oh..right…sorry. Me…zoning off again. Bad Bu..Betty. That's me A five star dinner sounds good about now anyway. I'm really in the mood for a steak."

The bartender looked down at the strange girl before him trying to smile. She was a weird one alright.

**********

Angel was wrapping up his speech and heading up to the mezzanine when Grace stopped him at the staircase.

"Mr. Angel…seems we have a small situation. I ran into an old friend of yours earlier."  


Angel turned, slightly annoyed, slightly intrigued, "yes?"

"It seems that your friend Ms. Summers decided to pay a visit. Told me her name was Betty. I don't think she wants you to know she's here.

Angel looked over to where she was standing by the bar… "keep an eye on her then- until we can figure out what she's up to."

Grace smiled and hurried away from him before weaving through the crowd to catch up with her.

"Betty! Betty!"

__

Oh, that's me, Buffy thought, as she turned to smile at her new acquaintance. "Why don't you come sit with me? You look a little…lost."

"Are you sitting up there?" Buffy asked, pointing to the mezzanine. 

Grace chuckled a bit, "not exactly my idea of fun…that's for the partners. I was invited of course, but…too stuffy. No...come with me…sit with the assistants, I'll introduce you around."

Buffy figured if she was going to get any dirt this might be a good place to start.

**********

(Mezzanine)

Spike was getting bored with his new friend rather quickly. Sure she had great a great rack, but that only got you so far. Besides, he knew there was someone out there for him. That perfect someone, waiting to be found- not only the girl of his dreams, but the girl in his dreams- and he was determined to find her. The flirting was fun, but he was disinterested.

He could hear his stomach beginning to make all kinds of gurgling sounds and licked his lips at the prospect of a nice steak. _Sad…don't even know how long it's been since I shagged, but all I can think about is food. _

"Nice talking to you pet, I'd love to stay and chat but my stomach's got other plans. I think I'd best join my party and sit to dinner. It was nice meeting you…um?," 

"Rachel"

"Rachel…it's been a pleasure. Don't go too far," and with that he gave her a suggestive wink, making her cheeks flush as he stood and headed back to the table.

Rachel was left intrigued…very intrigued indeed.

Back at the table Spike sat down to see Angel heading up the stairs.

"What's he doing here?" Angel asked, more than a little upset as he looked over to Wesley waiting for a response.

"No where else for him really, I had no other option."

Angel grabbed Wesley, pulling him away from the group so that he could speak to him privately.

"Keep him up here then. Buffy's down there…"

"What's she…"

"I don't know," Angel said- cutting Wesley off, "but I'm not ready for her to see him. Not until we know what brought him back and if he's up to anything."

"I see." Wesley said, finally having a little more understanding of Angel's rage towards Spike. "Is there something you're not saying here Angel, because it's obvious that you have a personal vendetta against Spike that has nothing to do with your hunting days. As far as I can tell there is nothing wrong with him except for the fact that he's alive and well. He really has no idea what he's doing here."

"Don't be so sure about that. I want him away from her until I say. Is that understood?"

"Perfectly. However, is it possible that she knows he's here…really, what other reason could she be hanging around…and not letting you in on the fact."

"I'm not sure, but I'm guessing this has nothing to do with cookies."

"What?"

"Never mind. Let's have dinner."

Back at the table Spike was anxious and ravenous. He'd already eaten the salad that was brought out and was waiting, rather impatiently, for his next course. As he sat down waiting for the food to be served he glanced down towards the crowd on the lower level.

He scanned the floor entirely. As the waitress came back and was setting appetizers on the table he was about to turn away when suddenly he caught a glimpse of her walking towards somewhere below where he was seated. It wasn't much, just a fraction of a second. He watched her blond hair bounce as she turned her head slightly- a small smile on her lips. She was another woman who Spike recognized as Angel's secretary. Just as quickly, however, she turned away again…her face no longer visible.

In that instant Spike closed his eyes and was hit with a montage of flashbacks. 

__

He could see her…dancing, smiling, laughing- he was watching her- always watching her…watching her outside her bedroom window…watching her as she walked alone at night, watching her with her sister. 

Then she was fighting him…hitting him fiercely and tossing him to the ground. Different fights…all the same. He hit her, she hit him back. He tossed her hard against a wall, she reached up and kicked him. It looked like a dance.

He was with her again, this time she was feeding him…something in a cup. Laughing…funny…the memory made him smile inside. Was he sick? What was in that cup? 

He was with her again, this time inside of her…kissing her…loving her. He flashed back to holding her in his arms as she slept, looking down at her face and feeling the closeness that filled him entirely. 

Then it was gone. 

He opened his eyes again, but didn't see her anymore. He was left wondering if he had even really seen her at all, or had he imagined it?

"…Spike?" Freddy asked, as she looked over to where Wesley sat with an expression of concern on his face.

"Huh…I…um…"

"Are you okay?"

"Fine…I was just…a little faint is all. My stomach is growling, I can't seem to eat enough. I must be making up for old time is all…Did you tell them I wanted my steak rare?"

TBC

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	12. All Talk

Disclaimer- I own nothing, Joss owns all.

**********

Chapter 12- All talk

**********

(LA catering hall- balcony)

"Where do you think your going?"

"What's it to you mate?"

With that Spike got out of his seat, throwing the napkin that had just left his lap onto his chair, and grabbed his leather jacket off of the back of his seat.

He started heading to the staircase to walk down when Angel grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back towards him.

Angel was furious, but he struggled to regain his composure. He'd known Spike for a really long time and he knew that the more he tried to hold him back, the more defiant he'd become.

"I just don't think it's safe for you to walk around given your present situation Spike. There's a lot you don't know about yourself, and you'll find out…I just don't need you getting into trouble."

"So I was a trouble maker 'ay? Stirring up a bit o' noise…causing a ruckus?" Spike grinned back at Fred who now squirmed uncomfortably in her seat from the gesture. "If you must know, I was heading out to find the lieu is all. I promise not to be very long and to wash my hands after, is that okay with you?" Spike said sarcastically.

Angel was in a mighty predicament, but he really couldn't argue at that. _Damn it Wesley, why'd you bring him here?_

As Spike walked down the stairs Angel went over to Wesley. "Follow him….try to keep him away from her."

"Angel…"

"Please…" he pleaded, now looking as sorry and broody as ever, "I'm not ready for her to see him…or to explain all of this."

"I will do as you wish Angel, but let it be known that I do not agree with your tactics at this point. It's not like you to be so conniving, and I really feel that this needs to be confronted."

"Point taken…I take full responsibility for my actions."

"Very well," Wesley added, as he followed hesitantly down the stairs.

**********  
  
_(Serendipity- Summer's home)_

"I'm coming!" Dawn screeched…running down to see who was ringing the bell. When she opened the door she nearly lost her breath. She stared back at the person before her a long moment before a smile finally graced her lips. 

She reached up and wrapped her arms around her before finally speaking. "Willow," she whispered, a small tear grazing her cheek. "I've missed you so much! We've been trying to reach you…"

With that Willow pulled back to look her in the face, "You have? Why?"  


"Isn't that why you're here? Didn't you get the message? Giles been calling the coven for the last few days…there's something going on…we think…well Buffy thinks, but…if that's not why you came than why did you?"

*****

Giles, Xander, Dawn, and Willow gathered around the living room of the new home in Serendipity. Willow looked around at them all thinking how very much like old times this felt. Sure, it was a different town- different house- and maybe the people in it were a little different then they were only a year ago, still…it was like coming home to family.

That's what made what Willow had to say even harder. She had a lot to talk about, and too much to explain. Where she'd been, things she'd seen, and why she hadn't called in so long.

But being here, surrounded by the people she loved- it was enough to make her want to forget everything she'd been through and experienced in the last year.

"Dawnie…my goodness…you've turned into a woman in such a short time. You hardly look like the girl I left behind only a few months ago! And Xander your so…

"Ruggedly handsome?"

"I was going to say something along the lines of distinguished, but that works." She giggled.

"Giles…you look wonderful! I've missed you all so much!"

"I hear the words," Xander said jokingly, "still…you don't call, you don't write. We've been worried Wills. Now with Buffy on a mission…"

"Ohmygod Buffy!" She yelled, "that's right, Dawn mentioned something but I got side tracked. Where is she? What happened? Is something wrong? What is it?"

**********

__

(LA-catering hall)

"What is it?" Buffy whispered to grace, as she poked at the wiggly substance with her spoon.

Grace couldn't help but giggle, "you've never had flan Betty?"

"Flan….flan," she stated matter of fatly, "nope, giving it a name does not make it any more desirable to me."

"Just try it, it tastes better than it looks."

Buffy cautiously bit into her desert and was surprised when she found that it wasn't repulsive at all. "Not bad…flan…who knew?" 

One of the others at the table rolled her eyes at Buffy, looking slightly annoyed at being interrupted before picking up the conversation again. "Any way, like I was saying Grace- who was that guy I saw with Mr. Angel today?"  
  
Grace quickly stiffened, not sure how much she could say in front of Buffy, not really sure who the man who had been introduced to her as William really was. Normally she wouldn't shy away from such gossip, not amongst her immediate peers because she knew they could keep secrets. At Wolfram and Heart, Keeping secrets was part of the job description…but with Buffy at her table she wasn't sure how much to diverge.

"Was it a guy named Andy?" Buffy asked right away, remembering the name on the bag she had seen…hoping to fish for some answers.

"Oooh…is that his name?" The woman asked. "Cause really, how hot can one man be.

"I don't know- I think he's Mr. Wesley's cousin," Grace said cautiously, but now knowing that Buffy was looking for someone named Andy, she wasn't so nervous about the conversation any longer. "He was good looking though- and that accent- so different from Mr. Wesley's. How can two people with the same accent sound so different!"

"Nice," the woman whose name Buffy couldn't remember continued, "sexy, hot, British, Andy."  
  
"No…not Andy," Grace said, "I think his name is William.

TBC

**********

Okay, okay. Bad me…late in the updates. Life always seems to get in the way. I really love this story though and promise not to keep you hanging, as long as it seems that people are continuing to enjoy it that is (yes I'm whoring for reviews)

Quick note: It was brought to my attention that I called Fred, "Freddy"- this was a huge my bad- a simple case of fingers moving faster than the brain. Thanks for the lookout.

That said, I'd like to mention that my new site www.GetSlayed.net is up and running. This is partially why my updates have been so long in the waiting. It still needs a little tweaking, but it's ready to check out. To kick it off I kicked up Buffy, Bad to NC17 for all my favorite smut lovers…but please only visit the story if you're of age. My other stories are posted there as well- and I have a few unconventional fics on the back burner. Please visit and sign my guest book. I'm new at the whole web building experience so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 


	13. Chance Meetings

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns all.

Chapter 13- Chance meetings

**********

__

(Serendipity-Summers home)

"Are you telling me that you somehow fucked with the balance of the world? What else is new?" Xander asked, somewhat joking- yet with an unmistakable hint of anger and concern in his words.

Willow sat uncomfortably in her seat, knowing that the ice she was treading was of the thin kind. And _since when does Alexander Harris use the "F" word?_

"Xander, please." Giles begged, "Please Willow…do you have any sort of information to offer as to what kind of shift in power we are talking about here?"

"I'm not sure. What we did…well…it was never done before. It was so involved…we'd have to figure out what it was exactly that caused the alter. 

"What do you mean what part?" Dawn asked.

Well…there was the whole, activating the slayer part…and there was…

"Spike!" Dawn yelled.

"Well, yeah…there was Spike and the…"  
  
"No," Dawn said, growing more animated as she began to speak faster and faster. "This definitely has something to do with Spike. Buffy's been…dreaming."

"What do you mean…dreaming?" Xander asked, a little bit lost as to where this conversation was heading.

"I think she's been having slayer visions."

"Did she tell you this? Why wouldn't she say something to me?" Giles asked, now curious as to what the girl knew.

"Well, she didn't even tell me exactly. I've heard her…talking in her sleep about 'what's coming' … 'what lies ahead'…then I heard her calling for Spike the other night and she was all wigged out. I mean, I've heard her call for Spike in her dreams before, but then she seemed to stop, but the other night was different. She was definitely more freaked then usual. That was when she decided she had to go to LA."

Giles' look of concern only grew stronger as he looked towards Willow who seemed to be considering what he'd just heard. 

"Willow," Dawn continued, "what exactly was it that made you come here? You said that you realized that you had made an alter. What did you see?

**********

(LA-Catering Hall)

William? Buffy thought, as she walked towards the ladies restroom. _British, hottie…William?_ Buffy thought she was crazy to even consider what was going through her mind. _Coincidence, it must be…_

"Excuse me," he said, nearly knocking her over. "Sorry Miss, seems like I bloody near killed you." He reached over from behind to help her keep her balance.

Her back was turned and she couldn't see his face, but the voice…HIS voice. The air caught in Buffy's throat and she couldn't speak. She was afraid to turn around because her heart was beating so quickly she knew that whether it was him or not she might pass out. A chill traveled up her spine causing her body to quiver, even though the hands that were holding her up were incredibly hot. That was when she knew she was wrong, because Spike was always cold…as in, I'm a dead vampire…cold. She was becoming lost in her thoughts when she heard him again.

"Are you alright?" He asked. Spike felt the woman before him when she started to shake. He was a bit nervous because he hadn't been watching where he was going. He'd been trying to lose Wesley who'd been tailing after him since he left the table. Now he was really concerned because she wasn't responding.

"Please," he said-his voice hardly a whisper, "did I hurt you? I didn't mean…" As he turned her around to face him he thought he was going to hit the floor. It was her. Her eyes were closed, but he knew if she opened them they'd be emerald green. He stared at her a long moment and then reached his hand up to touch her face. When she opened her eyes a single tear fell down her cheek which he was quick to wipe away. She was trying to speak, but it took him a while before what she said registered in his brain.

"…a dream." She said, "this must be a dream."

"No…it's real, you're here."

"Oh my God Spike…How? How are you here?"

It was then that he realized that Wesley had been following him. He wanted to disappear with her-he didn't care if he never knew what had happened to him, as long as he was with her. She was a goddess, and he knew in some way that she was his. So he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the back exit, scanning the room quickly, hoping he hadn't been seen.

"It's not important right now, love. We've got to get out of here quick." She nodded in understanding and followed behind. They ran out of the party and into the street and just kept on running for what seemed like hours. 

They never stopped to talk, and never glanced at each other once, afraid that someone might find them and…and what? Take this moment away, make it not be real? 

Before long Buffy was leading the way, and he held her hand tight…ignoring his own shortness of breath. Even when they reached the hotel they still ran, all the way up to her room.

Only once they were inside, and the door was locked shut behind them did they stop to look at each other. For Buffy it was unbelievable…impossible really. _How could he come back?_ She wondered, still aware that she might wake up at any moment.

For Spike it was a dream come true. This woman…he'd known she was real, but deep down his heart just wouldn't believe it.

She walked over to where he stood, and caressed his cheek with her fingers. She wanted to feel him, she needed to know he was real. Her thumbs caressed his eyelids and she smiled as his lashes fluttered a bit, tickling the inside of her palm. She touched his lips and sighed. 

Spike reached over and took her hand in his, raising it back up to the lips she'd been exploring. He kissed each finger and then her palm, then kissed the outside of her hand as well. 

Buffy raised her free hand to the to top of head, releasing the mess of curls that his hair gel was trying to hold on to. She smiled at that. I've never seen you're hair not bleached. 

He laughed a bit. "Is that right? I was going to do it tonight, but Wes told me I didn't have enough time. Was planning on fixing it tomorrow."

"You don't remember?" She asked, pulling back a little to look into his eyes.

"I remember you, don't really care about the rest."

"Her look of concern changed quickly to one of lust, and Spike could feel the pulse in her wrist quicken as he pulled her closer to him."

"I know you," he said as he pulled his arm around her waist to hold her near. "I…you're name?"

"Buffy"

"Buffy…" He placed his other arm behind her head, looking over her features and drinking her in, his grin growing wider the longer he stared, "…beautiful." 

And then he kissed her.

TBC

Please R/R


	14. Stuck between a Jewel and a Hard Place

Disclaimer: No…their not mine, but I'll give them back when I'm done.

Distribution: Link me Baby;)

*********

Chapter 14- Stuck between a Jewel and a hard place

*********

Xander was trying to hide his anger, but discussing the last years events did nothing but leave a foul taste in his mouth. He was bitter, and he was angry-not only at whatever error it was that Willow made, but at himself also.

He hadn't talked about Añ ya much since she died, he couldn't really bring himself to say her name very often- every time he did he was reminded of his own failures. Not only that, but the fact that one of his eyes was of the glass variety didn't sit well in his stomach either.

More than once he told himself that he was wrong, regretting the fact that he never married her- that he never let her have her one measly dream. If he'd known their time would be so short…no…not the point here. The point is that Willow fucked something up, and that helped take away some of the guilt he'd been bearing and placed it on someone else's shoulders. Was it wrong to think that way, maybe…but it helped.

He watched as Willow began to speak. She looked like she was being careful with her words…maybe too careful. "Go ahead Willow," he said bitterly, "what is it that you saw?"

"Well…let me just say that it wasn't exactly a fu… mess up." She looked towards Xander, still a little uneasy about his use of language. He seemed so cynical it frightened her. 

"All of magic is about give and take…finding a balance. You take something from the powers, they expect something in return and vice versa." She became more animated as she spoke now and began to speak more quickly, "sometimes, though, the powers reward you…Like if you assist in bolstering the greater balance, supporting the greater good, because although when it comes down to it the powers are neutral- they really would rather support the greater good…it's just…they can't..it's not how they work…"

"Okay Wils, I get that…being rewarded for doing a good deed…"

"Or for sacrificing too much." She said blandly, unsure of how he would take that.

Xander looked down, still having never come to terms with his loss…the pain was stifling. He had sacrificed too much.

"So what was it you saw Willow, you really seem be keeping us in suspense purposely." Giles said, as he pulled his glasses off of his face again, this time sticking the frame in his mouth and biting it nervously rather than just wiping them clean.

"I'm getting there…it's just…important you know this…the reasons behind it. You might not understand."

Willow took a deep breath and motioned for Giles to sit down. He was making her nervous with all of his little gestures. "I went to a very powerful see-er. I needed to find peace with myself. The power I'd invoked, although very good, was also very powerful…and it didn't just go away. I was very in-tuned with the earth and it's beings and it was a little…overwhelming. We meditated regularly and she showed me how to focus my energy…how to focus the light."

"I was out one day, alone…meditating, and I saw what happened while we escaped. I saw Spike, and the sacrifice he made. The thing was- while we didn't know what that amulet would do, he'd known all along…maybe not exactly, but he knew what would be expected of him in return for the gift the magic was letting forth. He was always smart about those things. He was ready though, and it made him happy. I saw him as he burned…with a smile on his face, happy that he'd done such a redeeming thing."

"He knew?" Dawn asked, "and he didn't say anything?"

"No, because he knew it was necessary…and part of the plan. But as the last piece of his body turned to ashes his soul left his body, but that didn't go as planned either."

"What do you mean?" Dawn asked, loving and respecting Spike more than she ever had before.

"He was given admittance to heaven…but he turned it down."

"How was he admitted to heaven?" Xander asked, "with everything he did…all that he'd done?"  


"That wasn't him…well it was, physically…but it wasn't his soul. His sacrifice redeemed him. That's not the point though…he left heaven, and was given a choice. He could be re-born, start a new life and have a chance to begin all over again…or he could be sent back to the place he died, only he'd have no memory of anything that happened before his death."

"How is that even possible. Why would he be given a choice?" Xander was uneasy now, and a little bit saddened at the prospect that he'd never have that chance with Anya. It was then that Giles interjected…

"Oh dear Lord! It can't be…"  
  
Willow only nodded, knowing now that Giles knew where she was headed. "It was prophesized from the very beginning."  
  
Giles continued, "The vampire with a soul, who would redeem himself and make right his wrongs…we thought it was about Angel. It never occurred to me once Spike got his soul…are you saying that Spike has been Shanshu'd?"

"There's more though…"

**********

__

(Buffy's hotel room)

His hands were everywhere at once, but it wasn't enough. 

She was aching for his touch. It had been so long. Even when he came back to Sunnydale after getting his soul back, even though he was there…she never told him. She couldn't give in to him because the time was never right, and she never really understood her feelings to begin with.

All she had known then was that they were connected. There was something about the both of them that kept bringing them back together.

Her hands reached up to touch the soft mess of curls on top of his head. She pulled back from his kiss then, and look into the deep azure of his eyes.

"sapphire" she said, almost to himself. 

He looked at her curiously, while his hands still roamed up and down her back. 

"Your eyes…I tried to remember while you were gone…the shade of blue…it was lost. Now I remember, like Sapphire's…how could I forget?"

He freed one of his hands from her back, and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen over her face. "It's funny…I saw you and thought emeralds."  
  
She lifted up to him at that, her lips forming into the beginnings of a smile. "I guess we're both Jewels then."

"The same, we are. I can feel it." He moved his hand down her arm as if to demonstrate that his very touch would create a spark that would bind them. "I touch you, and I know…"

"What?" She asked, already knowing his answer but longing to here the words.

"Mine." 

Simply stated in the manner of which a five year old might protect his favorite fire truck from another child's hands, yet it made all the sense in the world to her.

He looked into her eyes, seeking some sort of visible reaction- but what he saw in her eyes was unmasked lust. He knew then, he'd done something right.

When she reached up to draw him back to her kiss however, the moment was broken with the sound of the door to her room being pushed in with a crash.

***

"Get away from him Buffy, you don't know what he's capable of!" Angel screamed, as he was stopped by the barrier of not being invited.

"Angel! This is not a good time…we need some time…" But Buffy was cut of by his anger.

"No! You have to let me in. He's strong, and we don't know how he came back yet. He doesn't remember anything…it's a very dangerous situation!"

It was then that she remembered what her initial thought had been. As his hand was still on her arm she realized how warm it was…hot really. She couldn't help but smile, lifting her hand to touch the place his still heart would be. Instead, what she felt was the pumping, pumping, pumping of an organ hard at work.

Angel's anger was building which was why he couldn't control it when his face changed to that of the demon.

When Spike saw him he acted on instinct. He ran towards the vamped out Angel and pushed him down fiercely, knocking him back into the hall.

It took Buffy a moment to realize what was going on…so much was happening so quickly. She moved quickly to hold Spike back.

"His face! Did you see! My God! Is he on drugs?"  
  
"Spike…I know…he's a vampire!"

"Pfft…oh right…you're telling me…" But as he looked down to where Angel sat defeated on the floor he could see that she was right. Of all the things that had happened to him since his awakening this was by far the strangest."

As Angel changed back to his human face Buffy reached her hand down to help him up. "It looks like we have a lot to talk about…but not here." She said, looking around at the room that no longer had a door.

**********

"No fucking way!"

"Dawnie!" Willow said, "what is wrong with you people? Did you all turn into truck drivers while I was away?"

"It's the result of a bitter unfulfilling life." Dawn said, before finishing her initial thought. "That is too cool for words!"

__

Yeah, 'cool' Xander thought, trying to make sense of this whole situation.

"Are you sure that's even possible Willow?" Giles asked. "It's unheard of…I just don't understand…"

"There's only one way to find out. We have to go out there and see for ourselves."

"You saw all this in a vision?" Giles asked.

"I had a little bit of help," she smiled. But that part of the whole experience was not one she was ready to share.

TBC

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R/R


	15. Letting Go

Revelations

Chapter 15- Letting go

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(Wolfram and Heart- Angel's office)

"Why'd you bring us back here?" Buffy asked, still a little weary of Angel's intentions.

"I didn't want to go back to the hotel. Too crowded. We have some serious issues to discuss and…"  
  
"You mean like why you didn't tell me that Spike was back from the dead!"  
  
"…from the dead? What are you talking about?" Spike asked, watching the word exchange very carefully. This was easily becoming a battle of words and Spike was getting tired of the half truth's he was being fed.  


"How could you keep this from me Angel? I trusted you. You knew that I've been suffering…how much pain I've been in…how could you?"

"You never said why you were hear either. Am I suppose to believe that you didn't know."  
  
"How long?" Spike asked, getting a better of understanding of what was going on.

Angel was fidgeting with some items on his desk, unable to meet his eyes. Buffy turned to look at him, not sure how to proceed. He knew nothing at this point and she was nervous as to how much information he could take. He was human after all.

His voice was low and sounded like he was in pain. "How long was I…dead?" He was getting a little bit more of an understanding now, but everything was still fuzzy. The flashbacks he'd had after seeing her at the catering hall still fresh in his mind. The kisses they'd shared at her hotel room opening doors to pieces of more memories he'd long forgotten, still it was all unclear- but the dying he was beginning to remember. A burning sensation becoming all too real for him to handle.

Buffy walked over to him, taking his hand in hers reaching it up to her lips placing a gentile kiss on his fingers.

"Almost a year I guess…hard to tell at this point. How long were you…where were you before Angel found you?"  


Angel watched the display with hurt and anger in his eyes. He knew that Buffy wasn't back for him, but the display of love and concern that she was showing the former vampire was just too much for him to handle.

"He woke up in the rubble at Sunnydale, during the rebuild. I only found out a few days ago so I paid a little visit. Now why are you here?" Angel asked, still trying to figure out what else was going on. There was a piece to this puzzle that was missing and he couldn't place his finger on it.

"Dreams."

"So you were having them too?" Spike asked, even though he already knew the answer. Of course she'd been having them, that's why they felt so real. They'd been sharing dreams."  


"I thought they were prophetic of some kind, I didn't think that they were literal. I couldn't bring myself to believe that he was really back..it just…I thought you might be up to something, that maybe Angelus was back. Ever since I heard you got Wolfram & Heart I didn't know if you'd changed. Now I see that you have.

It was then that Wesley came rushing into the office. "There you are! When I saw the hotel door broken I was afraid that something had gone terribly wrong. Is everything alright? Why was the door broken down?" He looked around noticing Buffy in the room and looking towards Spike who was now in the far corner. 

"We had a little misunderstanding. It's good to see you Wesley."

"Buffy, would you mind if we spoke alone for a minute?" Angel asked, nodding over to where Spike stood with an obvious look of confusion.

"Spike, would you mind?"

"Fine, maybe Wes here could fill me in on what you two have left out then." 

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"You never said you were in love with him" Angel stated, the moment Spike and Wesley left the room.

"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I knew that something happened between you two, but you never said you were in love with him. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You've got some nerve. You're trying to put this on me now? How long were you planning to keep him from me? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Honestly?"  


"It would be a start."

"I don't know."

"You don't know…YOU don't know? I can't believe you. And how long have you been following me?"  


"What are you talking about?" Angel was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. She knew he was hiding something.

"The hotel. How'd you know I was there? You must have been following me. Now is the time to get everything out in the open Angel. You lie to me now and I never forgive you."

The look on her face was stern and he could tell that she was telling the truth. Losing her for good was a chance he could not take.

"I'll tell you everything if you tell me how long you've been in love with Spike."

Buffy was nervous about discussing her true feelings for him. It was something that she hadn't really confronted while he was around. In fact, it was an emotion that she hadn't really considered until he was gone. When she'd said she loved him she meant it. He said she didn't, but it wasn't because he didn't believe her. At the time her love for him was a love unlike any other she'd ever known. They'd shared so much, and been through so much together that they're bond was unlike any relationship she could ever dream of having with anyone else. It wasn't until he was gone that she realized she was actually in love with him- that she really had gotten over Angel.

"Too much has changed between us Angel. I'll always love you. You will always be the love I lost, the one I missed out on- the chance never taken, but so much has happened to the both of us since we were together that we're no longer the people we were."

She walked over to him, gazing at him softly- reminiscing about the time they'd shared together. She reached her hand up to his face and caressed it gently, knowing that she was doing something she never thought she would. She was letting go of something unfinished, ending a story that was only half told. 

Angel was trying to keep his composure, thinking of the chance he had years ago. His opportunity at redemption, that one day they shared- holding her in his arms…he couldn't be here at this moment, listening to the words she was saying.

"Angel, you mean the world to me…since you've been gone there have been life altering experiences…times that I wished nothing more than to have you by my side. My heart was broken all over again after you…Parker, Riley… but it never hurt as much as it did the day you left. I never got over that. I never gave up hope on the chance that we might have a shot at something someday."

She was fighting back tears now as her eyes filled with water. This was probably one of the hardest thing she'd ever have to do, which was a bit ironic considering all of the demons she'd faced in her lifetime.

"I can't wait for you anymore. I would have been happy to accept you as you were then. I could have dealt with the vampire thing, I could have found a way to make it work in my life- but the truth is, you could never accept who you were. It wasn't that you thought I was too good for you, it was that you were never good enough for yourself. I can't sit around waiting for you to be less… complicated. I was never enough for you, because you couldn't be who you wanted to be."

"I hear what you're saying Buffy, but that doesn't tell me where you are with him."

"Spike loved me without a soul, maybe it was in a strange sort of sordid way…but in the way that he could, he loved me. He never cared whether he thought he was good enough, or the complications involved…all he cared about was how he felt about me…and the way he felt when he was with me. Things can be right between us now."

"Is that what you want?" Angel asked, fearing the answer. The truth was that he knew it had been over for some time. His love for Buffy changed when he fell in love with Cordelia, which was something he still hadn't come to terms with. She was right of course. They could never go back to who they were.

He was going to respond when Wesley walked into the room. "Wesley, can you please…give us a few more minutes?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but I thought you might need to know. It's Willow…he motioned to the phone in his hand. She's got some news about…you know who. They're on their way. They should arrive in the middle of the night. I'm sending a car out, but I thought you might want to be there to greet them.

TBC

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Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. I really appreciate those of you who have stuck with the story, as well as the kind reviews and emails. More to come!


	16. Bring Me Back to Life

Revelations

Chapter 16- Bring me Back to Life

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns all. You knew that though.

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Willow, Xander, and Dawn had arrived a few hours ago. As Buffy lay in her borrowed bed for the evening she kept replaying over and over in her mind. It was all too much for her to handle. 

She needed to speak to Spike, but was unsure of what to say. For the first time it felt like she might have some kind of control over her future, some option in what her life would be like…and it scared her more than anything she'd ever faced before.

Her conversation with Angel hadn't been much easier. She was angry at him, and hurt for the way he had gone about things. The sneaking around, the lying. He'd been watching her the whole time- every move, every action…logged in some file at Wolfram & Heart.

To an extent she understood that it was out of concern for her that he did it, but he had invaded her privacy…big time.

She was dying for sleep, exhausted from her experiences of the last few days. As she tried to force herself to sleep she heard a soft knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" He asked, opening the door slightly- a look of nervousness on his face that was new to him. He had always been sure of himself, cocky to the point where it was borderline obnoxious. There was only one time she'd seen that face, it was the night after they had spent together in a strangers home. He came to her and told him of how terrified he'd been, never having been so close to someone before. Now she was the one that was terrified, because this time she truly had a choice. She'd been given a real opportunity to find some semblance of happiness in her life.

"Come in."

He walked in tentatively, closing the door quietly behind him. The room was dark, but he didn't mind. It made what he wanted to say much easier. This was new territory for him. He might not remember much of anything from his life before, but that much he knew was true.

"Are you okay?" She asked, sitting up in her bed and watching his outline as he pulled a chair up near her bed.

"It's a lot to take in I guess."

"Believe me…I know."

"I…I want to say some things to you, but I'm nervous that I won't have the stones to finish. I'd like to ask that you listen. That you try not to…laugh at me, or…judge me. I need to say them."

Buffy was scared. She didn't know what he had to say, but there were things that she wanted to tell him as well. She thought she should hear him out first though, and go from there.

"I'm listening Spike," she said, as she pulled her self up to lean her back against the headboard.

"I'm scared. I know that I've probably never been scared before, not the way I am now, but you should know that. I'm starting to remember, little things at a time. After Wesley finished telling me all that he did…about my history…my past- things started to come back to me. I'm remembering…fragments…of things that I did. Not only to other people, but to you Buffy. I was a…bad man…"  


"Spike…please don't. I know all about who you were…"

"No!" His voice was strong now, and sounding more like the person she once knew. "I have to say this…please. Let me finish."  
  
Buffy stood quiet. Wishing she could reach out to him, wishing she could take away whatever pain he was feeling.

"I was a bad man, and I enjoyed every minute of it…until you. I know about the chip, and I know that it was the main reason that made me stop…killing…" he gulped, the last word coming out as though it tasted bad just to say it, "…but there was more. I know that I love you Buffy. I know that you're probably the only true love I've ever had in my existence, but you could never love me back because of who I was and the things that I did. Now I have a chance to make up for that. Now that Willow seems to believe that I'm a…Slayer. I'm not quite sure what that means for me just yet, but I know that you can help me- because I know you were the best." 

His voice began to falter. He was asking her for help, and deep inside- he was asking her to love him. 

"Spike…that you are a Slayer now is not so far fetched. For that last while that you were here you helped me more than anyone, more than Angel, more than my friends. You patrolled with me almost every night and did good things…things that were very far from your nature. Your strength…and your courage…they're not something I could have done without. There's a reason I was the longest living slayer…it was because I had help." 

Buffy could feel her eyes watering, but she fought back the tears that were forming. She moved off to the side of the bed, sitting to face where so that she could be closer to him.

"I'm not THE slayer anymore, but I'm starting to realize that I still am A slayer. I think I've forgotten that for a while, I guess I just needed a break…but it's my nature, and it calls me. Having you back makes me want to be myself again. Spike…I love you…"

"No…you just missed me and…"  
  
"No," she said softly, grabbing his hands from his lap and taking them into her own. "I did miss you Spike, that much is true, but I love you. You're a part of me, something lost now found. I could never say it before and mean it because I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I'd given up on it. Now I'm not alone. Now there are slayers all over the world, and now I have you back. I want to be me again."

"I love you too Buffy, I've never been so sure of anything before in my life."  
  
"So stay with me tonight Spike. Just hold me like you did before, I just want to be near you…plus I'm utterly exhausted. A slayer needs her beauty sleep."

Spike smiled, lifting her hands from his lap and placing a kiss an each one. He pulled back the sheet from the bed and got under with her, wrapping his arm around her tightly and holding her. For right now, this was enough.

TBC

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Okay, I know it's been a while…but R/L sometimes sucks. There are only a few more chapters left. I will not abandon this story. I really want to finish it before Angel starts because the story line will conflict big time, which might want me to give up. Some people have asked whether or not I will write a sequel, and honestly I don't know. I have some others that I'm working on, so I guess that will depend on how this ends, and finding motivation to do so.   



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